Defy
A review of

Defy

The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes

Sunita Sah • One World • 2025
Debater

Getting to No

by Patricia Sanders

If you find yourself saying yes when you want to say no — and almost everyone does at some point — Cornell psychologist Sunita Sah offers insights and practices to strengthen your “defiance muscle.” Sah explores why humans are wired to obey and makes a compelling case for reclaiming the power to refuse.

Saying no isn’t easy. A 2023 study found nearly six out of ten people struggle to turn down requests, and even more consider themselves people pleasers. According to Cornell University organizational psychologist Sunita Sah, social conditioning and group dynamics make resistance emotionally difficult.

Sah’s expertise is in compliance — the often overwhelming tendency to relinquish autonomy to a group, an authority figure, or even a compelling stranger. Her book explores why saying no is so hard, why it matters, and how individuals can reclaim their agency.

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